How to be a Friend to Someone with Depression

   It is really hard to be a friend to someone who is struggling. Many people just don't know what to do or say, especially if they have never experienced depression before. When I was struggling, I blamed a lot of my sadness on others. Because my confidence was so low, I thought that others were purposely leaving me out of activities, when really I was just so isolated that I made it hard for even my best friends to try and connect with me. It's hard to explain, but a lot of times when during my bad days, I didn't know what I wanted. I wanted a friend by my side constantly, but I also wanted to be left alone. It's difficult for everyone involved. I thought I would write some advice for both parties - how to help someone and how to let someone help you.

People who are Struggling - Depression is hard and if you have not experienced what it feels like first hand, then it is very difficult to try and understand. That's why it's important to try and let others know how you feel. People cannot read minds and sometimes they can't tell that you are struggling, so you must speak. It's an important part of healing, and for me, the most difficult. No matter who you are or what your situation, there are people out there who WANT to help you. Let them. Of course, no one can fix you. Getting better is a choice, but the path of healing is made significantly easier when someone is there for you along the way. Be open and communicate. Allow someone to do something nice for you and be grateful. Remember always that people care for you and want you to be happy, but don't feel as if you let them down even if you are not. It takes lots of time and work, but in the end you will be glad that you have someone you can be open with.

Friends - The most important thing to keep in mind is that depression is never someone's fault, so it's good to remember not to be judgmental. Also, do not expect to be able to heal someone else. Your job is not to lead them down the path of healing, it's to walk beside them. Stay positive and be open. Specifically ask what they would like you to do to help them. Every case is different, so you never really know what they want. Sometimes they will want to be alone and that is okay. Offer to do things that you know they love to do. Take them on a hike or to a movie. It takes a lot of effort to be the friend, but do not give up on them. Whether they show it or not, they need friends. Encourage them to do little things, like shower or make their bed. Remind them that you care. Remind them that depression is a liar and that it does not control them.

   I saw this great article on facebook about how to show love to someone with depression. It has some great ideas about things that you can actually do... http://www.thedarlingbakers.com/love-someone-with-depression/

   For both parties the most important thing to remember is to never ever give up, no matter how much you believe that things are not working. Some day, all of your efforts will be so, so worth it.

:) - B

Reason #22 - The Olympics

   Sorry I have been slacking on posting. I have been a tad distracted lately. I wish I could say that I've been really productive - that I've been busy working or cleaning or getting ready for college. But none of those are the case. No, I have been watching the Olympics non-stop. It's kind of bad. I just veg out in front of the TV all day. During the times where there are no events on, I go on the internet and read about the athletes, then I watch the events that I didn't get to see earlier on Primetime. Let's just say if keeping up with all things Olympic where a sport, I would get the gold medal. I guess you could call it an obsession, but I like to think of it as dedication. I just love the unity and patriotism that go along with it. It makes me so happy!  Plus the Olympics are only every 2 years, so I am fine dedicating 2 weeks to them.

   I would say my love for the Olympics started in Salt Lake City in 2002. I happened to live there at that time and they happened to start on my 7th birthday that year. It was such an exciting time. There was so much hype and this was all pretty new to me. My mom made Olympic ring cupcakes to share with my 1st grade class and after school my dad took my sister and I to see the running of the Olympic torch. I loved all the traditions and I eagerly watched the Opening Ceremonies that night. You could see the Olympic rings from my house and it all felt really special.

   In the mall a lot of pin trading and selling was going on. My mom got me a mascot hat and some really cool pins. One of the vendors even gave me a special pin because it was my birthday. I thought it was so cool how people made pin collecting their hobby and there were some that were really rare and worth a lot. It was all so exciting.

   Everything got a lot more exciting when my grandma surprised my mom, sister, and me with tickets to go see figure skating. It was so much fun. Charley and I got little American flags and we would wave them around and cheer for the US, even when it was a foreign skating. I got to see my favorite Olympians, Michelle Kwan and Sarah Hues. After watching them I knew I wanted to take up skating, so I made several trips to the ice rink after that. Unfortunately I never got a chance to live out that dream, but I still have a love for the Olympics anyway. That experience is something that I will always cherish. I hope to make it back someday.

 

Reason #21 - Sunrises

   Last night I had an amazing night sleep and I woke up way before my alarm. Instead of going back to bed I decided to get up and watch the sunrise. It has been a while since I've been up at that hour, so I forgot how much I missed it. Sunrises are so special. They represent another day, a new start. Mornings are quiet and slow and almost all consistent. I may be a night owl, but I really appreciate a beautiful morning.


A scene from this morning.





Reason #20 - Birthdays!

   I can honestly say that I fully prepared for last year to be my last birthday, but I am so happy it wasn't! Today I had a blast and I believe that birthdays are one of the greatest reasons to live. A whole day dedicated to you. How fun is that? This birthday was especially exciting because it's Olympic time now, which is also one of my favorite things! So last night I had some friends over to watch the Opening Ceremonies. Then today we had our monthly date night and we went laser tagging. It was probably one of the best birthdays I have had. The best part of it all was getting to spend it with some of my favorite people.

Some scenes from this weekend...

 

The photobooth after laser tagging.

 

Some pretty flattering pictures of me, Melissa, and Jenn...

 

Yay for birthdays and good company!

-B



Reason #19 - Giving & Receiving Compliments

   Getting a really nice compliment from someone just makes my day! But it also makes me happy attempting to make someone else's day by giving a compliment. There's nothing more simple and kind that you can do for someone, or that they can do for you, than just voicing what you like about them.

   Today my friend showed me Daily Odd Compliment (http://dailyoddcompliment.tumblr.com/). It's a blog that posts unusual compliments. We were sending them back and forth and I was laughing so hard because so many of them actually related to our friendship.

   Someone once told me to never pass up the opportunity to compliment someone. If you genuinely like something about someone, even if it's just the way they did their hair that day or their new socks, make sure you tell them! It doesn't even matter if it's a complete stranger! It can turn a bad day into one that's a little bit better. Sometimes that's all someone needs to keep going!

 

A few Odd Compliments....

 

 

:) -B

 

P.S. To everyone that reads my blog - you are all amazing and cute and I hope you are having a fabulous week.

 



This made me so happy!

p.s. turn on some music & watch them dance. then dance with them!