Look how far we've come...

   Today I feel overwhelmed with happiness and gratitude. My counselor, who I normally see every Wednesday, has decided that it is time to make my appointments every other week because of how well I am doing. This caused me to reflect on my progress since I started the long road to recovery. I would like to share my progress with y'all.

Me 2 years ago:

• Could not get out of bed. My parents would try to help me out, but I would just cry feeling so overwhelmed.
• Struggled making it to basketball practice, something that I always loved.
• Felt distant from all the friends I had been once very close to.
• Started failing all my classes in school, where I had once been an honor student.
• Slept every minute I possibly could, would avoid meals and family interaction.
• Took long showers daily just to cry.
• Avoided church, a place where I once felt God's love.
• Constant thoughts of self harm and suicide.

Me Today:

• Living 1800 miles away from my family, in a place I love.
• Get out of bed daily (still take naps more than I should, but working on it.)
• Working and making my own money.
• Going to school and passing all my classes.
• Attending church and reading my scriptures daily, feeling a lot closer to the Lord these days.
• Take most opportunities to go out with friends and have a good time.
• Going on dates without having to pop pills beforehand to calm the anxiety.
• Suicide never ever crosses my mind on a bad day.

   If you would have told the "2 years ago me" that I would be so happy today, I would have never believed you. It is so difficult to see any kind of potential in yourself when you are in such a dark place. You always hear stories of people who get out of these places, but happiness really does seem unattainable to you. I have been so blessed, though. God put so many caring people in my path to help me. I could make a whole book of just people who have made a positive impact in my life when it came to helping me when I needed it most. If you get anything from this post, I hope it is that recovery is possible. It really does start with the little things. Reward yourself for getting out of bed and brushing your teeth. Set attainable goals, but also know that not meeting them is okay too. Life is supposed to be enjoyable for you, so do what you can to get there. And don't forget to take a step back every once in awhile to look at how far you've come.

-B :)