A Mother's Thoughts...

   Sorry I have taken a hiatus from blogging lately. Life has had a lot of ups and downs lately. I'm sure you have heard of Robin Williams' death by now. This sparked a good conversation about my own depression between my mom and I. She then asked my permission to write a post about it on Facebook. I am not ashamed of my illness, so of course I encouraged her to do it. I would like to share it with you here because mental illness is important to shed light on.

"Much is being said about depression and suicide in the wake of Robin Williams' death. Let me offer another side and some unsolicited advice. A warning, this may be long. There are varying degrees of depression and many don't come right out and say they're struggling. I mean, it's a tough thing to admit you have a mental illness. You know that there are people thinking you're flawed and that if you just pray and think happy thoughts, your illness will go away. No one ever thinks that of some one with a physical illness.

So here's just one thing you can do: be the type of person where the one who is struggling can come to you, knowing you'll hold no judgement and they'll have a safe place to land. Where you just sit and listen to them. Sometimes, as a parent of one who struggles with deep depression, you may hear things that scare the daylights out of you. Like how the isolation they feel is so overwhelming. Or they don't want to be a burden and they know suicide is not the answer but that feeling has such a tight grip on their soul, they can't shake it and fear they'll succumb. Or they just come right out and say, "I don't want to live." And it's not being said for attention, it's a true, scary thought. You look into this beautiful face and know there are great and fun times ahead in their life and wonder why they can't see it. So you have to act. No matter what it takes.

Unfortunately, mental health is expensive and severely underfunded and budget cuts are made every year in hospitals across the country, resulting in their closings. We were lucky that we have a great facility here. We looked at it like investing in our child's future, the same way we do as college so we took advantage of any and all programs; both in-patient and outpatient. There was no way depression was going to win out in this family. Everyday I said that depression had never met this mother before! (thumbs pointing to myself) and Jon of course! We were also lucky that we had several friends who were that soft place for us as well. I am forever grateful to them. With therapy and treatment, it can become manageable, just like living with diabetes or other manageable illnesses. There will always be some that won't understand or don't want to and that's ok. The ones that do (and hopefully most are your immediate family) make up for all that anyway. And the only way for it to be more accepted and understood is to talk about it. From the very beginning I told my daughter that she had two choices and I would respect either. We could deal with this quietly as a family (but then it would appear we're ashamed) or be open about it and maybe help others along the way. I'm so glad she chose to be open about it. *I did ask her permission to write this, though. I never want to assume. Thanks for letting me put this out there!" 

I am so thankful to have such understanding and supportive family members, friends, and medical professionals. I feel so lucky. Remember how important it is to reach out to others and to be open and loving. Everyone deserves love, no matter what you've been through. I hope everyone is well. 

- B :)